No regrets

Yesterday was a sad day.
I've never expect it too soon.

He was like a grandfather to me.
I never got a chance to say goodbye.

I saw his body.
I gave him last kiss.
I didn't go to his funeral.

I cried.
Only tears of sadness.
Not regrets.

I feel like I'm losing more.
But this is life.
They say, "Life's a bitch."
I used to agree.
I take as it is..
All I have now are memories..


"It is a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it." - Somerset Maugham

Today

My horoscope for today says:

"Dark, depressing dreams could plague your sleep tonight, Zara, probably alternating with silly ones that make you laugh out loud. You could wake in the morning totally confused by these images, and your tendency might be to dismiss them. Don't do this, however. Your dreams are trying to tell you something about yourself. Have you had your emotional ups and downs lately? Have you alternately laughed and cried over something? Think about it!"

Hmm.. i did dream about many things but i totally forgot about it.Maybe it's true.I'm still on the journey for searching myself.Well, not just me.Everybody else too.My hopes are my days are gonna shine brighter with full of beautiful memories.

I had lunch with Dev and Angah just now. It was good. Better than yesterday. Wonderful conversations about many things. About our country (politics mainly), movies (stardust and hitman -- oooh i can't wait to watch!) and many more.

I feel a whole lot better.
I can smile.
I can laugh.
I can think. (weeheee!)

Articles coming up soon.I'm taking Dev's advise.I'm gonna post it by chapters or topics. Well, it's gonna be easier.Still tired somehow. I miss that particular person. Hope to see him soon.
Thanks again for stopping by and read.

kisses,
Zara D.

Life

Beautiful weather,
People chattering,
Simple ambiance.

I sipped.

Smile.
Laughter.
Oh, happiness!

"Fine beauty in all that you do"- Manmohan Singh

Inside of me

I sat here today -- alone
Watching people passing by
Talking almost about everything; different languages.

It's five in the evening
Watching them
How great it is to be with someone...

Deep inside I cried
Screaming for happiness
Screaming for love.

Inhale.
Exhale.
Ashtray full of cigarette butts.

Why can't these thoughts go away?
Why can't these feelings go away?

Disturbing.

"All you got to do is let it go"-anonymous

Mortality

kulihat jenazah di hadapanku,
terbujur kaku..

tangisan teresak-esak didengari;
surah di baca tanpa berhenti..

saudara banjiri halaman rumah.
menziarahi.

"Takziah.."

mataku kabur.
bergelinang air mataku di tubir mata.

hanya Allah yang tahu...

Usah tangisi yang sudah pergi...

"The clouds that gather round the setting sun, Do take a sober coloring from an eye, That hath kept watch o’er man’s mortality."-William Wordsworth

Kepemergianmu...

Dedicated to my late granduncle who left us last night at 9.26 pm sharp at Damansara Specialist Centre. You'll always be remembered in our heart and soul.

Dibisik kalimah syahadah,
Dia menghembus nafas terakhir..

Innalillah...

Tangisan memecah kesunyian.
Yasin di baca.

"Allah lebih menyayanginya."

Yang pergi,takkan kembali..

Moga Allah S.W.T. cucuri rohnya dan menempatnya di sisi Rasul dan sahabatnya.

Al-Fatihah..

Allah said in the Holy Qur’an:

HUWAL-LADHI KHALAQAKUM FAMINKUM
KAFIRUN WAMINKUM MU’MINUN.
WALLAU BIMA TA`MALUNA BASIR.
KHALAQAS-SAMAWATI WAL ARDˆA BILHAQQI
WASAW-WARAKUM FA AHSANA SUWARAKUM.
WA ILAYHIL MASIR.


“It was He that created you: yet some of you are unbelievers,
while others have faith, He is Cognizant of all your actions.
He created the heavens and the earth to manifest
the truth and fashioned you into a comely shape.
To Him you shall return.”
______________________________________

FA SUBHANAL-LADHI• BIYADIH•I
MALAKUTU KULLI SHAY’'IW WA ILAYHI TURJA`UN.

”SO GLORIFIED IS HE (ABOVE ALL TAINT),
IN WHOSE HAND IS THE GOVERNANCE OF
EVERYTHING AND TO HIM YOU WILL ALL BE
BROUGHT BACK (IN THE END).” - Surah Yasin,Ayat 83.

One Never Forgets

I received an email. I responded.
Tears of joy streaming down..
Wound healed.
Remembering the good ol' days,
I smiled.

I read it again.
I thank Lord.

"Memory is more indelible than ink" - Anita Loos

The Way Universe Go

Saw him lying restlessly there;
hard of breathing.

People surrounding --
Praying..

Oh, take his pain away!
Lord, take our pain away...

One life is brought to earth,
the other is about to be taken.

Angry.
Sad.

"Unfair..", I said.
That's how it works...

"Life and Death are alike in that they both have an uncertain eternity right next to them" -- Isaac Perez

Untitled

the sun's coming up at yet i can't sleep.
thinking of how one life could be.
loves sinking;
loves ending.

dreadfully one life could end
without their beloved.

missing badly.

needing it.
wanting it.

absurd.

how can it be?
kept on questioning how life is.
like a pawn.paced either to black or white path.

why?
one said,never ask how god makes it work.

think think think.
accept the way it is.

"life's greatest happiness is to be convinced we are loved." - Victor Hugo, Les Miserables,1862.

Beautiful Lie...

Lie awake in bed at night
And think about your life
Do you want to be different?
Try to let go of the truth
The battles of your youth
’Cause this is just a game

It's a beautiful lie
It's a perfect denial
Such a beautiful lie to believe in
So beautiful, beautiful lie makes me

It's time to forget about the past
To wash away what happened last
Hide behind an empty face
Don't ask too much, just say
'Cause this is just a game

Everyone's looking at me
I'm running around in circles
A quiet desperation's building higher
I've got to remember this is just a game




"Be not afraid of life.Believe that life IS worth living and your belief will help create the fact." -James Truslow Adams

Listen..

If you'd listen to me harder
you would know what I've been trying to say --

Nothing.

Lies, Lies, Lies

-- I'm sitting in a chair writing in agony.A demon, a minor demon is pinning me there -- fucking my head.

Abraxas he said,"I'm Abraxas, the demon of lies and deceit. So, what do you want to know about lies my dear?"

-- I'm not a liar. I tried again to get up this time, I'm flayed, splayed. I feel myself screaming.

"I'll tell you about lies. There are white lies and black lies... and many shades of grey lies.. but some lies are justified; Lies are told out of kindness. Lies that preserve dignity... Lies that spare pain. Everybody's a liar dear.. everybody is.."