Friday, September 17, 2010

A Man I called Papa

Papa left us 3 days before Syawal arrived. The day that I published "Picture Almost Perfect", the day I knew things were too good to be true. I would never forget the phone called I received from mama, 7.42pm, 6th September 2010, "Aizura, come back now, papa has passed away..".

I broke down. The first person I called was Danial. Then my siblings. I couldn't believe what I've just heard. It was the most heartbreaking news ever in my entire life. I was in shocked because half an hour before I received the news, I was texting with him, discussing about raya. I was just with him for 2 nights at Mantin and left day before he passed away. I took my parents out, pushed him on his wheel chair. The last I remembered, he kissed me like he would never see me again before I headed back to KL. 

Papa has been one of the best father, great man I've ever known. Though we always have our disagreements, I've always been a daddy's girl. The man I normally cry to, where I can lean and share my worries with him. He has always been a strong man. Papa is an honest man. I remembered I gave him to hold me an old five ringgit note, and he still has it in his wallet. Papa might be fierce, but I know it was for the best to all of us. 

Until now, I can't stop these tears. I know I have not provided him the best nor be the best daughter any father would have asked for, but I did my best, and i'm thankful and grateful to know from mama that I made him happy during his last days. It has been 11 days, yet I felt it was yesterday he has passed. There are no regrets, just happiness I had with him. I shall celebrate his life, his joy, his happiness. 
Now, I'm taking up my responsibilities towards my mother. The only parent I have left.

I dedicate my life to you, papa.. Thank you for everything you've taught me. You've raised me well. Your passing is a blessing in disguise, May Allah place you in heaven, where all the angels are. InsyaAllah.





Ismail bin Hamzah ( 7th MAY 1951 - 6th SEPTEMBER 2010)

I LOVE YOU PAPA FOREVER AND ALWAYS

Al - Fatihah


Monday, September 6, 2010

Picture Almost Perfect


I've never been this happy. Everything fell apart with no reasons that I tried so hard to understand. Now, Alhamdulillah, things are falling back into pieces I never thought it would be. I'm happily married to my job now which I'm carrying massive responsibilties, time to spend with friends (and just realizing I made more new good friends!) makes this picture of my life almost perfect. I just realized I don't want to be in a relationship right now because I am having one with my job. This is my time to build my career. God gave me this chance and I'm going to prove to myself and use this opportunity to do so. The best part, I'm in talking terms with "orang lama" and I feel better now. No more grudge, I'm putting aside what happened in the past and open a new chapter. I am me, the new old me before I met "orang lama", who is very independant. and living on her own two feet. I'm a 26 years old young lady, who has dreams and will achieve those dreams. InsyaAllah. My life is almost perfect right now and I'm thankful for that. Alhamdulillah. Amin.


I <3 the new old me




"   Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfection... "