Tuesday, February 15, 2011

No One Knows But Me

Another day of relapsed.

Missing my dad.

I'm tired of feeling this way. I push aside my worries, more comes in the way. I'm beyond words than crazy. It's killing me. I don't think I can't take it. Here I am crying, wishing things are back to before my dad's passing. Am I selfish to think that way? I don't know how to take this responsibilities. I always screw things up. Can I do this? I'm tired of being dependant on anyone. For once, I want to stand on my own two feet.

Funny when I can't say it out loud to people but I can easily blog about it.

I just want my bestfriend back.

Unfortunately, God loves him more. Times like this, he always know what to say to me. This is the most difficult part.

I don't think I can take these right now. I'm too fragile. 

Thursday, February 3, 2011

The One With Candy Hearts

As we grow older, we tend to lose a lot of people in our lives.. Especially those who are very dear to us. Losing doesn't mean that we argue and they just walk away from us. Losing means death, grow apart, marriage, family, work and many more factors.

I've been a social butterfly since god knows when. I love making friends. Each and every year, ever since I could remember, I'll make new friends and lose the old ones. I don't treat them like high school kids. We moved on. I decided to blog about friendship today because to tell you the truth, I miss my dearest friends. Those who has been there for me. I wish I could list down the names, but I've decided to leave it as anonymous. They know who they are.

I find it hard to accept at first that we're not seeing each other anymore, but I've realized that we're not getting any younger and true friends will always be there for you when you need them the most. They will always support you no matter how. I've lost a lot of friends a long the way. These friends of mine that I really miss most, I shall keep them close to my heart.

I no longer have one bestfriend, I have sisters and brothers. 

I miss us, babies.

The last time I felt this way was with my 17 years of friendship. Even though ours are fairly new, but I've never been this close to anyone. I hope you all are well.

"True friends are the people who are there for you unconditionally. They are the people who never question you and support you no matter what the circumstances are. They are the people worth living for."

Love always,
Zara Ismail.