Soulmate

On a fine day, I was spending time with DR, I heard knockings on the grill.

"Babe, could you open the door please?"
"Okay, babe!"

I got up from the sofa where I was lying next to the person who I've always though I'd end up with to let the person whom I never thought would be my soulmate in. As soon as I opened the main door, there he stood on the other side of the grill.

"Hey, is Miss V in?' and then, he smiled.
My heart beats faster.
"Oh yeah, come on in."

We were then officially introduced by my housemate, Miss V.

"This is M, M, this is my housemate, Zara and that's DR."

We shook hand, he went and chill with Miss V and I lied back next to DR. They came out from the room, "Come, let's blaze.", and we hit it off. Conversation after one another.

That's how I remember it.

Long story short, I broke up with DR a few months later.

During my singlehood of three months, M was always around and chilled together.

We were always flying together.
Full of laughters.
Beautiful music.
Stories were shared.
Secrets were made.
Chemistry got stronger.
That butterflies in my tummy;
Heart beats faster. Sometimes, it skips a beat.

One day M came unexpectedly and I had a guest. I gleamed happily as soon as I saw him. Without realizing, I was already next to him. Subconsciously, I've already liked him. Even my body language showed it. Everybody saw, even my guest. Being a "gentleman", M left earlier seeing how uncomfortable my guest was.

I didn't remember exactly when did we exchange numbers, but we did. We went out quietly. He brought me to meet up with the boys and had our first night out. It was splendid. Lots of laughter and great moments.

Let's cut to the chase. I'm sure everyone is bored to know the exact details.

So, one night, while chilling with my housemates, we were pushed, pressured and convinced that we should be together. Out of curiosity, we both agreed.

The rest became history.
Celebrated Valentine's together.
He cooks, I clean.
He calls my Cosmic Girl.
He's my Space Cadet.
He sings me 'Gadisku' (song by Search)
I said, "I soooo want to do him". :P
He heard me calling him "B..."
I became his Manja, Princess, Baby and Sayang.
How juvy.
Everyday we would miss each other badly.
Beautiful. Just beautiful.

And when the topic rises, we both were in denial.
Keep pushing for more.
Don't want to let go.

We said we loved each other.
We admitted there will be no future.
He said, "In order to be fair, I need to let you go."
I said, "I don't want to be second..."
We just want to hold on a little bit longer.

We've seen each others dark side;
We embraced it.
We accept the flaws.
We stayed.

Here we are, more than a year since we first met;
A year now, being together.

We might have crossed paths before we met;
Even now, being together, reality bites.
We were never meant to be together.

Though it hurts so much to let go,  fate did prove me wrong.
I'm bound to meet someone better than DR.
I met you.
My soulmate.

Thank you for giving me this chance.
I now believe, soulmate does exist.

The Private Affair, part cinq

We've hardly talk like we used to.
We've hardly text like we used to.
Just sitting next to him, it makes me content.

It's a year now.
I'm still in love with him.
I miss him every now and then, all the time.

Sometimes it's so hard to believe that he loves me too.
Yet, I feel it.

This is the closest I feel to magic,
and I'm under his spell.

It might be fleeting, but I'm willing to take this risk ;
It's worth it.

The Private Affair, part quatre

I said, "My brother is setting me up with the candidate of his choice."
He said, "You should go. I'm holding you back."
I said, "How can I go when I have you in my heart? Isn't it unfair? Even after you're not around, it will take some time to patch me inside."
He remained silent.

"I'd like to see you again and again after this. At least I said it.", and he chuckled.

It's hard to look at him. I'm scared to look at him. I'm scared of losing him. That's how deeply I fell for him.

I turned to him, "I chose to stay. I still want to stay." and I looked away.
"You can't stop or you don't want to stop?", he asked.
"A little bit of both.", and we just looked at each other.

Hello 2013

It's now 2013.

I've yet to make that decision.
Somewhat, I still can't leave.

One thing I know for sure; this year, my focus are my pockets (to fill it with more moolah) and of course my career.

I'm not ready to be someone's wife.
I'm not ready to let you go too.

Let me hold on a bit longer.
Let me make my resolutions come true.

Be nice to me 2013.