Tuesday, August 12, 2008


As I entered the book store, I know that familiar smell. The smell of new books. Just with that smell, brings me down to memory lane. Tears flowing like a dam just broke. My heart ache. I feel the pain. The pain that I've been denying to feel. The pain of loss. The pain of loneliness. The pain of heartbroken. I had to get out from there. As I rushed out, my steps stop. I couldn't blink. That book was staring at me -- or I was just being paranoid. " I have to let go.." I said to myself.

"Why? Why can't I just be this way? Why can't I feel how and what I feel right now?" asked the demon in me; more likely a poor heartbroken girl, begging me not to let go.

'Shut up! Just shut up! Learn how to stand on your own. One day he'll leave..' That's all I could say to her. I wiped my tears furiously. Stepped out of the store with my head held up and that tiny voice in me, "Don't give up, you're still learning.." I put up a smile, not knowing it's fake or real...

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