Tuesday, August 28, 2012

The Private Affair

I made a choice when I got into this beautiful mess. Maybe it's not a mess for him, but it is for me.

It's been almost 7 months whatever that I'm having right now with this perfect guy (or almost perfect for me). He was introduced by one of my friends. It started out as friends.

I honestly can't remember how long ago when I first met him. It felt like I've known him for forever. I find it funny when I tried to recall those memories. I would admit I've been very naughty since my last relationship. For me, I needed to move on.

I have to open a new book, and can't hold on my past. I kept on telling myself, I deserved better. Here comes "space cadet" (let's call him that). I knew his past and present history. It was all curiosity. For me, what else would get wrong? It'll be a one time fling or just another guy that was once stroll along my journey to find my true love (what's wrong me believing in that?).

The chemistry was so strong. Even my subconscious admitted it too. Everything seems so perfect. Why wouldn't it be? He is 39 years old with full of experience (life and relationships). I finally felt how does it feels like to be treated as a princess. I don't even know where to start to list out the best traits. But there would always be the downside of it.

He belongs to someone else. Again, I'm the second (what are the odds?).

I realized now, I'm going too deep. Yet, I put on a smile on my face. I tend not to hold on too long. I admit it that I've fallen for him, but I would never end up with him. I'm not at saying goodbyes but how long more I can keep this up?

He knows it's not fair to me. We've never once talked about our feelings. We knew. He knew. He knew how I felt. Action speaks louder than words. But I'm left in the dark.

It hurts. I forgot how painful it is to get the heart ripped off.

I'm keeping my distance. As much as I want to say, "I love you..." I'll leave.

Distance - Christina Perri feat Jason Mraz

1 comment:

Ahmad Tongkeng said...


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