Battle of a heart.

I have not post anything for the past one year..

Too many incidents and memories were recorded in my mind, heart and soul.

Today, I woke up with a tragic news, his dad just passed away. Last night I slept with a heavy heart knowing MH17 was shot down. Just a couple of months after the disappearance of MH370.

Being human, I feel for him and alongside with the Malaysians for the deceased passengers and crews of MH17.

It made me think and realized, life is futile. Everything are temporary. It made me scared. Ilmu agama di dada tak cukup lagi. Dunia sudah nak akhir zaman. Spending too much time alone could make me go nuts. I've became this person who does not want to socialize. Because I got hurt too many times. I became selfish, because I want to save myself.

Now, another question has arise. AM I READY FOR CHANGES?

Being the 2nd is never my intention. We both know we won't be able to be together. 3 years.. that we've spent. Most of it are the best memories. Greatest laughs. Is this a sign?

Do I take this opportunity to leave? Do I stay be with him? He lost his dad. He lost few friends. All within a day. Being human, I want to be there. Being a woman, I want to be there yet, isn't this the time for him to be with his family.

Ya Allah, berikan aku satu petunjuk.

Amin.