Ultimate Dissapointment.

I'm home crying my eyes out. I'm drinking half of the Black Label 1 liter bottle and I'm still crying.I turned into this monster. How Faiz left me, this is my condition. Every now and then I need a drink to sleep it off. I'm a damn alcoholic and he doesn't knows about it until now. Took my meds as well cause I want the pain to go away. Easy for me. Call me stupid. I don't care anymore. I'm hurting inside. He shuts me off. He said he needed space. He's going through some issues and he just won't let me in. It kills me inside.

I can't help my loved ones. Like he said, I'm only human. Tend to make mistakes. I hate myself right now. He's hurting. I'm hurt as well. I just want to say one thing here.. no matter how, he's part of me.

Sumpah aku sayang kau, tapi kau tak sedar. Sumpah aku tak cinta kau tapi kau tetap dihati aku. Kau tak sedar aku terluka lihat kau begitu. Sayang sekali, aku masih sayangkan kau walaupun kau tidak menghargainya.Kau pernah jadi sebahagian aku,dan bila kau pergi, kau tetap ada dihati ini.

I don't know what's going on. I know one thing, you said you didn't want me to get worried. Well, you lied. You went through some situation and you didn't want me to know. But I know. I just know..