Making Memories

Friday night's such a beautiful night
Where you going?
I didn't mean to blow it
You're upset and I don't know what I said
But I'm sorry
Don't you give up on me?

Don't pretend you're not smiling again
Let's just leave it
You know I didn't mean it
Don't know why we put up such a fight
Over nothing
When we could still be something

Take off your jacket
Don't walk out that door
There's no need to leave anymore

Can't do this myself
No, I need some help
We all need some help

You and me
We should be
Making a memory whenever we're together
Look at me
Can't you see
We were meant to be
Making a memory

When Love and Death Embrace

Today I create a drama. Unnecessary drama. Bringing up small matter. Making it as a huge deal, like its the end of the world. I mixed everything up. I made him leave. Not picking up the phone, not replying any of my messages. I want to leave everything. I hate the way it is. We are already drifted apart. We're still denying. I'm not myself lately. I can't think through. I hate myself when I look at myself in the mirror. I feel like smashing the mirror. Peel my skin off. Pull my hair. Blind myself. I hate the way I am. 

I'm sorry. Will you still love me...?

Die,Kitty Die!

Why is it so hard to forget someone? Why is it so hard to stay mad at someone for quite some time? I want to do that. Unfortunately, my characteristic is not like that. I kept on forgiving them, and move on. I kept on, sweeping it under the carpet. Why can't I be selfish? I want to be one of them who always think about themselves. Hurting and saying those cruel words. Everytime I'm angry, I tend to take a deep breath and smile.

Why would he bother? Like he said, he doesn't have obligations and responsibilities at all. Selfish? Yes. Never seems to care about anyone except for himself. No wait, I'll give him credits to acknowledge about the world and other people but not me.

I've been so upset with him for god knows how long but everytime I try to say it, I just thought to myself, "What the hell for? Wasting time only. Better cherish what we have." Funny right?

I always think about the good thing about him, but he sees my bad traits most of the time. I'd find time for him in my busy schedules. I'd make time and find my way to be with him. I'd cancel my meetings for him. Him?

The only way for me to release my anger is to go out with those people. But come to think of it, like he cares. What if I sleep with another guy? I'm not his girlfriend like he claims but he said, "I'll leave." It's been 2 goddamn years. I'm trying to improve but he never change. Not that I asked him to. I accept him for who he is. He always want me to change.

I let my guard down. I said sorry when I'm tired of saying it. I want to scream out loud, "DIE KITTY DIE!!!!"


I agree on what my best bud said;
fareisha says (11:54 AM): im starting to think men are complete and i mean COMPLETE in its whole sense - IDIOTS.

fareisha says (11:54 AM): serious shit ok!

Lover's Dead Lane

It's been 2 days here.. I'm going home soon. Can't believe I took another road trip to find peace. Thank god it's over between me and him. The argument. I feel better now. Penang is lovely. Celebrating Valentine's all alone. Cruising around the island. Not as beautiful as Langkawi but in a way, I found my 2nd home. Close enough though...Didn't get a chance to take photos as I forgot to bring my camera along. I wish I don't have to go back, but hey, reality check, I got bills to pay. Another place for me to throw away all my sadness. Coming back to Penang next week for Bunkface's gig. Can't wait. Wish I could bring him along...

Silent Valentine's

Here I am, by the beach... trying to paint my sadness. It's back to square one how I felt. Whatever I did, it wasn't enough, was never good to his eyes. Strolling by the beach alone. Wishing and praying things would change. Seems he never bother. Is it the end? I have no clue.. I miss every moments. All those happiness... Who am I to you...?

fix the problem, not the blame...

Who For You

If I could paint a sad goodbye;
I’d paint your eyes a clear blue sky.
Pluck you grace from a pale faced moon
And slumber down this tattered room.

If I could find an amber train;
Lord I’d ride it to the bitter end.
Passing hope in the summer bloom;
Passing dreams and a fading tune.

If I should stray amid crimson rose…
Whither angels on wings of gold?
Who for flowers in the month of May?
Who for you on your winter’s day?
Who for flowers in the months of May?
Who for you?

I love this song..Soundtrack from Gubra. Pete sang it beautifully..My new lullaby.. :)

Passing Dreams with Tears...

I kept on wondering, what's life gonna be in few years time. I'm 25 this year. I have nothing except my pride. Most of my schoolmates and cousins are married. Both, my elder siblings have each 3 kids of their own. One is almost happy with his life and the other left to UMRAH to find peace after few years of rocking marriage. Me? 

Still with the same person. Dare not to change a single bit. Last 2 days went to Jalan Tandang with him for a drink. We talked almost about everything. I enjoyed my times with him. It's been 2 years. Love for him hasn't fade. I guess for now...

Funny when people never understood our situation. Every girl dreams a beautiful wedding or life with their loved one. But me, I don't. I'm too afraid. I know he doesn't have the same feelings towards me. But I still stay. Knowing he loves someone else, I still stay. Stupid? No. Comfort zone? No. If I could find the other answers for it why, I'd stated it out here. For now, I know it's LOVE.

When I reached home, I'd still feel lonely. Felt like I've lost him. Again. 

Nothing's change.

Kekwat Gitu.

"Kenapa dengan Bunkface tu?

BUKAN sekali tetapi dah banyak kali Papa mendengar rungutan tentang band indie yang sedang meningkat naik nama mereka sekarang.

Siapa lagi kalau bukan Bunkface yang sedang top dengan lagu Situasi tu. Amboi, hebat mereka kan? Lagu Situasi tu pun dah berjaya menjuarai beberapa carta radio popular di negara ini.

Tetapi, yang tak sedapnya, sedang asyik diulit dengan populariti, rupanya Papa dengar cerita kumpulan Bunkface ni dikatakan berlagak sampaikan tidak mahu membuat sesi fotografi ataupun ditemu ramah oleh media.

Kawan Papa yang cantik jelita bermata kuyu pun rupanya pernah terkena dan apa yang membuatkan kawan Papa ni naik hantu apabila pengurus Bunkface yang bernama Zara memang sombong dalam memberikan jawapannya.

“Minta maaflah ya. Kami tidak akan buat sesi fotografi dengan mana-mana media sebab kami hanya mahu menumpukan perhatian kepada promosi album dan lagu sahaja. Bunkface tiada masa untuk sesi fotografi kerana terlalu sibuk,” kata Zara kepada kawan Papa tadi dalam nada yang cukup menyakitkan hati.

Agaknya Zara baru lagi kot jadi pengurus dan tidak faham selok-belok dunia artis ni? Bukankah sesi fotografi itu juga sebahagian daripada promosi untuk Bunkface.

Helo, artis lama dan senior pun masih lagi sudi nak buat sesi fotografi dengan akhbar dan majalah sebab mereka tahu itu adalah promosi untuk mereka.

Tidak mengapalah. Mungkin Bunkface dan pengurusnya tidak memerlukan media untuk membantu mereka kerana ada cara promosi mereka yang tersendiri.

Kalau lepas ni ada apa-apa yang terjadi, jangan nak salahkan wartawan pula sebab tidak memberi sokongan dan publisiti."

Sometimes, I just don't understand some people. Just trying to provoke me. Alhamdulillah, I handle it well. It's just another challenge for me working in this industry. Oh, well.. Pepatah melayu kita - " Tak kenal, maka tak cinta."