I Deny It

How could you ever possibly fall for a stranger? Is it because you can't have that person or it's just true that you have feelings for him/her?

I experienced a weird situation where I have no idea who he is. I do actually. I ONLY know the basics about him. I can't get him out of my head. I wonder...

Sometimes, I wonder whether what he tells me are either true or false. Either it was honesty or a lie. It's hard to read people's mind. Action says louder than words. It's unbelievable. I try not to think about it. It's not rocket science. It's not a math equation. It's a lot harder than it seems.

The thing is, he knows exactly who am I, what I want. Me? I'm complete the opposite. Suddenly, it turns into an obsession to me. To know whether my feelings are completely true or I'm just feeling this way because I can't have him.

I have butterflies in my tummy. It's been a while I haven't had that feelings. Whenever he sits next to me, eying each and every of my movements, listening to every words that blurt out through my lips. Funny isn't it?

Hoping that he would call in the middle of the night. Wishing my wished would come true -- to get an answer. An answer for that question that's been lingering on my mind. Driving me mad.

My best friend said, " It'll pass. This is just a phase. You'll get over it... ". Is it true? Maybe I didn't try harder to forget about it. BUT, yes, there is a but. The more I try to forget about him, the more I'll miss him, I want him.

I want to go to bed. I don't want to think about it, about him. I'll try not to. That's because, does he think about me before he goes to bed? I don't think so. I'm only there for him, when he needs me. I'm just a safety net.

Okay, I think that's it. That's it..

Denying is good. Ignorance is bliss.

Yes, I deny it.

Goodnight.