Wednesday, November 19, 2008


What is friendship? This is what I get from Wikipedia (I'm a lazy bum so I search online; easier.)

Friendship is a term used to denote co-operative and supportive behavior between two or more beings. In this sense, the term connotes a relationship which involves mutual knowledge, esteem, and affection and respect along with a degree of rendering service to friends in times of need or crisis. Friends will welcome each other's company and exhibit loyalty towards each other, often to the point of altruism. Their tastes will usually be similar and may converge, and they will share enjoyable activities. They will also engage in mutually helping behavior, such as exchange of advice and the sharing of hardship. A friend is someone who may often demonstrate reciprocating and reflective behaviors. Yet for many, friendship is nothing more than the trust that someone or something will not harm them.

So here I am, sitting, wondering, what actually went wrong with my "close" friends. I do know friends come and go through stages. There are friends from your childhood, kindergarten, primary school, high school, college, work and some others, you got to know them through other people.

me with Arwah Shai/"madu"

I went through all those stages. I've gained and lost lots of them. Just recently, I lost another one.. He was my best friend's boyfriend of 4 years. I called him my "madu". That's because I gotta share her with him.. He has always been a good guy and at times, yes he can be a jerk but most of the time, he did take care of me as well. He passed away last 2 weeks, motorbike accident. A tragic one. I never got a chance to say goodbye to him. The last 4 years, they were together, I was with them. I saw their ups and downs, we actually shared it together. I remembered the 1st time they were together, how they got together, in a way, I help them as well. I gave my best friend's number to him. But I wasn't there for my best friend, before his last breath. I never got a chance to say goodbye.

It reminded me, another close friend of mine who passed away 4 years ago. She was my schoolmate. We sat together in class. After highschool, we went our separate ways and I got really busy and before she passed away, she did try to call me, and like what had happened, I never got a chance to say goodbye.

I still have few close friends, but this particular someone, who's actually pissed at me quietly. Until now she's not talking to me, for I know nothing about it. If I've never say this before to you, here I am, thanking you for what you've done to me, been there for and with me, thank you so much. You're still very dear to me. Maybe work got in between us. But whatever it is, I really appreciate you. The very 1st time I knew you until now. I'm sorry if I ever done or say wrongly to you. Oh, hell. it's friendship.

For the readers, don't you ever take your own sweet time to tell your friends that you love them. Thank them. Don't wait for any occasion. It might be too late. I've never felt so sad until now. Even now I'm crying thinking what I've not do or say to them..This is such a painful lesson in life..

Rest in peace my good friends, Shaiful Hannan (1985-2008) & Vicky Andayani (1984-2004) Al-Fatihah...

1 comment:

Dayana said...

hei xura...sorry its been awhile. i got to ur blog while googling 4 vicky. random thoughts. its cool wat u said. it does not only take death to take friends away. at this age, after all we been through, as friends and as strangers, im sure you're equally away of that. keep up the good work.
take care
Dayana Ariffin (ex-5G)