Sometimes, I wonder, how can I moved on so quickly. At times, yes, I admit that I do miss him.. but just for a moment. Unpacking the boxes I just moved into my sister's place, when I saw the stuffs we bought together, going to places we used to go, listening to the songs in my lappy, buying groceries and many more... That reminded me so much of "us". I've been making myself busy with work, with family and friends. I tend to say I like this guy, "falling" for that guy, but it all ain't true.
I realized, when he's gone, all the familiar faces are gone too. Exactly like Avril Lavigne's song - "When You're Gone". I don't feel lonely. I don't. I just feel sad because it had to end the way it ended. When someone comes closer to me, I hesitate, I ran. Wound is still there. I know I'll be okay.
A friend used to ask me, would I wait for him or someone like him.. I said, " I won't find someone like him, and to wait for him is no point because we both wanted to lead our own life. My someone new will come along the way. I don't have to look, not because I'm tired or hurt, but because I know, he'll come around. "
I can't stop the way I feel. It's alright to do so. It's healthy. I'm happy for my friends who are attached and married. I'm not jealous of them..because one day, my time will come. Day by day, I grew stronger and I'm proud of myself. I shall never mourn forever. I may think he used to be the ONE, because when we held hands, it felt right, both head and heart. We outgrew ourselves.
For what's worth, it was one of the best three years of my life. To be with him, to have him, to love him and to be loved by him. It was and I will always treasure it for the rest of my life..
Thank you D.