Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Silent cry

I don't know why I'm unlucky in love. I hate when I fell for someone who belongs for someone else. It's either someone's boyfriend, fiance or husband. Why can't I jusr fall for someone who's single? When that person is single, I fall for someone who's not the right for me. I know there's a say "fall for the wrong ones and you'll finally meet the right one". I'm tired of it, because I keep meeting the wrong ones. My heart is broken so many times. I'm too hurt. Shattered million pieces that I can't put it into pieces. I don't know till when I feel like this. Why do I drink? I'm trying to forget what I feel inside. I know it's stupid. I'm stupid, I'm an idiot. I'm worse than that. I've never looked down to myself this way. I'm tired. I really tired. I keep on praying. Everyone say God is fair. Why is He doing this to me? I can't take it. At times I lose faith, and I'll gain it but I'll lose it again.. I don't know how to feel again. I'm just a human being. All I'm asking for is happiness..

Zara Ismail
Sent via BlackBerry from Maxis

1 comment:

that girl said...

i'm sorry. i wish you luck with this process of healing.
i've been at it like you for 6 months. but my relationship was probably not as deep as yours. but the thing that's important was that we were in love and now its all gone. trust me, if you keep going at it like this and thinking about it, nothing will get better. but of course, you need time. so take all the time you need. just remember that you deserve better.

lately, ive been forcing myself to not think about him... because it hurts. and i dont want to hurt anymore. im tired of hurting. i still love him but he has moved on. i just cant cling on forever, right? i have to be strong and help myself stand back up.